Paralysed

Hello living, breathing and beautiful human being. Thank you for taking your time and reading my post. It has been a while. Well, I'm not consistent with my blogging anyway but I've missed taking photos and writing what I feel. And so without any further a do, here is a slice of my thoughts.

Work has kept me tied down and sadly uncreative. You know the drill, 7.5 hours a day to pay the bills and probably do some travelling. I don't know, I just feel like stagnant. I lost the touch of wonder and curiosity. Is this welcome to adulthood or maybe things do actually get better? I remember the days when I couldn't wait to finish school and university and now I'm here, staring eye to eye with my future and I can't help but feel paralysed. I've never felt so much freedom that comes with much responsibility.  It feels like everything counts. It's either a make it or break it move. THAT IS SCARY. But we can look at it through another perspective. If today counts, if everything matters then that means we have the ability and opportunity to mold our future. Maybe the fear I feel right now is the perfect soil for growth. I will FAIL along the way, be DISAPPOINTED, feel INSIGNIFICANT but that shouldn't stop me from giving a good fight right? And the same goes for you. When it feels like you're risking everything then you must be doing the right thing. You can't do everything but you can always do something.

Funny how we say LIFE happened when everything changes as if life is a curse and yet it's the same thing we fight for everyday.

I like to see life as a picture. Everything that goes with it, the good and the bad, the painful and wonderful, the ugly and beautiful, the awkward and pleasant are the pixels that form that one picture.  Every pixel contributes to the color and shades of your life.

Saying these words from the place where I am right now is quite difficult. The first person who should learn from this is me but maybe these words will help one or two of you. I'll stay strong for you but you have to stay strong for the people around you.

                                                          -April